Should You Buy an Engagement Ring Online? Here's What I'd Tell a Friend
Buying an engagement ring is unlike almost any other purchase. It is not just about spending
One honest note before we start. We make rings set with every stone below, so we have no reason to steer you towards or away from any of them, except one: we would rather you owned a ring that lasts. That is the only bias in this article.
A coloured gemstone can make a ring unmistakably yours: a sapphire the colour of the sea, a ruby with real fire, a stone chosen because it means something. But a ring lives on your hand, and hands lead busy, knockabout lives. Some gemstones are built for that. Others, however beautiful, are not.
At a glance
| Stone | Hardness (Mohs) | Daily wear? | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Diamond | 10 | Yes | The most durable of all — perfect hardness and excellent toughness |
| Sapphire | 9 | Yes | Corundum; tough as well as hard; available in many colours |
| Ruby | 9 | Yes | Corundum, the same mineral as sapphire; hard and tough |
| Emerald | 7.5–8 | With care | Brittle and usually treated; needs a protective setting and gentle cleaning |
| Aquamarine | 7.5–8 | With care | Emerald’s hardness but typically cleaner and tougher |
| Garnet | ~7 | With care | Fine for thoughtful wear; may show marks over many years |
| Amethyst | ~7 | With care | Fine for thoughtful wear; may show marks over many years |
| Citrine | ~7 | With care | Fine for thoughtful wear; may show marks over many years |
| Opal | 5.5–6.5 | Best avoided | Soft and water-bearing, prone to crazing; keep for gentler pieces |
| Pearl | 2.5–4.5 | Best avoided | Organic; easily dulled by knocks and even perfume |
| Tanzanite | 6–7 | Best avoided | Glorious colour but prone to chipping |
Two qualities decide whether a stone can take everyday life, and people often confuse them. Hardness is resistance to scratching, measured on the Mohs scale from 1 to 10, with diamond at the top. Toughness is resistance to chipping or cracking when knocked, which is not the same thing: a stone can be hard yet brittle, resisting scratches but chipping on a sharp knock. You want to think about both.
Diamond is the most durable of all: a perfect 10 for hardness and excellent toughness. Nothing in an ordinary day will trouble one, which is why it has anchored engagement rings for generations. Browse our diamond engagement rings to see the classic choice.
Sapphire and ruby are the same mineral, corundum, sitting at 9 on the Mohs scale, second only to diamond, and genuinely tough as well as hard. That is why, after diamonds, sapphires are the first stone we recommend for a ring worn every day. Sapphire comes in far more than blue, including pink, yellow, green and near-colourless white, so the design freedom is enormous. See our sapphire engagement rings for the range.
Choosing a coloured stone? Our free Diamond and Gemstone Guide covers stone choice, quality and care in full, including the durability chart above.
Emerald is where honesty matters most. It is reasonably hard, around 7.5 to 8, but famously brittle, because most emeralds contain natural inclusions that make them prone to chipping, and nearly all are treated with oil or resin. That treatment needs care: no ultrasonic cleaners, no harsh chemicals, and ideally a protective setting. An emerald ring can absolutely be worn, but it asks for a gentler owner. Aquamarine and other beryls share emerald’s hardness but tend to be cleaner and tougher. Garnet, amethyst and citrine sit around 7, fine for thoughtful wear, though they may show more marks over many years than a sapphire would.
Some of the most beautiful stones are simply too soft or fragile for a ring worn daily. We would gently steer you towards a pendant, earrings or an occasional ring for these: opal (5.5 to 6.5), soft, water-bearing and prone to crazing; pearl (2.5 to 4.5), organic and easily dulled by knocks and even perfume; and tanzanite (6 to 7), glorious in colour but prone to chipping.
If your heart is set on a softer stone, the right setting buys real protection. A bezel setting, a rim of metal surrounding the stone, shields the edges far better than raised claws, and a lower profile keeps the stone tucked out of harm's way. These choices will not turn an opal into a sapphire, but they meaningfully improve the odds.
Have a stone in mind but unsure it will last? Tell us what you are picturing and we will give you an honest answer, or browse our coloured gemstone rings for durable options.
Diamond is the most durable, followed by sapphire and ruby (both corundum, Mohs 9). All three are excellent choices for a ring worn every day.
You can, but with care. Emeralds are brittle and usually treated, so they benefit from a protective setting and gentle cleaning, avoiding ultrasonic cleaners and harsh chemicals.
Softer or more fragile stones such as opal, pearl and tanzanite are best kept for pendants, earrings or occasional rings, as everyday knocks can damage them.
Hardness is resistance to scratching (the Mohs scale); toughness is resistance to chipping or cracking on impact. A stone can be hard yet brittle, so both matter for a ring.
Buying an engagement ring is unlike almost any other purchase. It is not just about spending
We make eternity rings in every coverage, so we have no stake in steering you towards
You have decided to propose, you are keeping it a secret, and you have hit the
If you have researched ethical diamonds, you will have met the phrase conflict free, usually alongside
Six expert guides — read online or take the free PDF, whatever stage you're at.
Budget, the Four Cs, diamond shapes, settings, sizing and bespoke design.
Profiles, metals, finishes, shaped-to-fit bands and matched pairs.
Eternity rings, setting styles, shaped-to-fit bands and everyday wear.
Full and half eternity styles, stone settings, spacing and how to wear them.
Diamonds, coloured gemstones, lab-grown stones and choosing the right stone for your ring.
Cleaning, safe storage, claw and setting checks, replating and when to have a ring serviced.
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